Foxy Tip

Well here's a tip that I just have to pass on, apologise to those of you with a weak disposition as you may find it a little *cough* unsavoury. If this applies to you then don't read on, stop right here and check out some of my cards instead :-)

We have been plagued by foxes in the garden this year. We have had them before tunneling in the most bizarre places but this takes the biscuit! Now the thing about foxes is that they are not particular where they do their business; they poop anywhere they damn well feel like it! You have to be constantly on your guard, and watch where you tread and where you put your hands. You could find a large mound of stinking mess clinging to a clump of grass (and if it get stuck in the lawnmower then prepare to wear a gas mask for a while - I speak from experience!!) or there could be horrible surprise waiting in your BBQ (yes really). They mark *their* territory (well it's not their damn territory, it's MINE!) and will pee and poo all around the garden and on the perimeters.

They have ruined our lawn also which has several large dead areas where they have peed and it looks like they have chased a cat up our patio parasol where the cover has been ripped to smithereens! A year or two ago one moved into one of our sheds and I didn't realise for ages. We boarded it up and the little bugger ripped the wood open and went back inside!! It did quite a lot of damage to the patio furniture and other things that were in there - I never knew there was so much foam in a sun lounger - perhaps it's the same one now coming back for revenge, and this time it brought the family!!!

Can you tell I'm not a fan? I don't care too much about their high-pitch screeching in the night or their rummaging through rubbish, just as long as I don't get their toilet stuff in my garden! They are not nice woodland creatures, these are urban don't give a damn foxes that wander streets looking mangy and bedraggled and will stare you defiantly in the eye rather than run away.

So what does one do to stop these animals from fouling everywhere? Aha, i have the answer. I was considering going to Chessington Zoo and purchasing some Tiger's doo dahs, I was getting that desperate, when I read about someone who had used human pee. It had to be male as the pheromones would warn the foxes off - apparently. OK, worth a try I thought, so out went one male under the cover of darkness and marked his territory. It rained the following day so out he went again to reestablish his marks.

That was over a week ago and so far so good. No more evidence of foxes in the garden and usually there was stuff on an almost daily basis. I can't say I am too keen on going out there myself at the moment but after the next rainfall I'm sure I'll be fine. The idea of everything bathed in human pee is not fantastic but I will take that over mountains of poo any day.

So there you go, don't say I never give you any tips or techniques :-) Just don't let your man go out in your garden marking his perimeters before the big guy upstairs has turned out the lights!