Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Foxy Tip

Well here's a tip that I just have to pass on, apologise to those of you with a weak disposition as you may find it a little *cough* unsavoury. If this applies to you then don't read on, stop right here and check out some of my cards instead :-)

We have been plagued by foxes in the garden this year. We have had them before tunneling in the most bizarre places but this takes the biscuit! Now the thing about foxes is that they are not particular where they do their business; they poop anywhere they damn well feel like it! You have to be constantly on your guard, and watch where you tread and where you put your hands. You could find a large mound of stinking mess clinging to a clump of grass (and if it get stuck in the lawnmower then prepare to wear a gas mask for a while - I speak from experience!!) or there could be horrible surprise waiting in your BBQ (yes really). They mark *their* territory (well it's not their damn territory, it's MINE!) and will pee and poo all around the garden and on the perimeters.
They have ruined our lawn also which has several large dead areas where they have peed and it looks like they have chased a cat up our patio parasol where the cover has been ripped to smithereens! A year or two ago one moved into one of our sheds and I didn't realise for ages. We boarded it up and the little bugger ripped the wood open and went back inside!! It did quite a lot of damage to the patio furniture and other things that were in there - I never knew there was so much foam in a sun lounger - perhaps it's the same one now coming back for revenge, and this time it brought the family!!!

Can you tell I'm not a fan? I don't care too much about their high-pitch screeching in the night or their rummaging through rubbish, just as long as I don't get their toilet stuff in my garden! They are not nice woodland creatures, these are urban don't give a damn foxes that wander streets looking mangy and bedraggled and will stare you defiantly in the eye rather than run away.

So what does one do to stop these animals from fouling everywhere? Aha, i have the answer. I was considering going to Chessington Zoo and purchasing some Tiger's doo dahs, I was getting that desperate, when I read about someone who had used human pee. It had to be male as the pheromones would warn the foxes off - apparently. OK, worth a try I thought, so out went one male under the cover of darkness and marked his territory. It rained the following day so out he went again to reestablish his marks.

That was over a week ago and so far so good. No more evidence of foxes in the garden and usually there was stuff on an almost daily basis. I can't say I am too keen on going out there myself at the moment but after the next rainfall I'm sure I'll be fine. The idea of everything bathed in human pee is not fantastic but I will take that over mountains of poo any day.

So there you go, don't say I never give you any tips or techniques :-) Just don't let your man go out in your garden marking his perimeters before the big guy upstairs has turned out the lights!


Cazzy said...

I bet he enjoyed marking his territory, not usually allowed! He will have to keep it up though I think.

Cazzy x

Jac said...

Thank you Karen that bought a smile to my face, mind you cant imagine my OH doing that not unless he has spent the night down the pub first!lol Luckily as we live in th ecountry we dont actually have that much of a problem with them plenty of fields and woods close by but I do feel for you, mind you I think our gardens is fast turning into the local cats toilet!

Angie said...

Oh my,
that did bring a giggle or two to me,
I understand how you feel,
I am lucky I dont see foxes in my garden, just hedgehogs
Thanks for sharing, and hope the midnight pee male has worked lol,

Rachel said...

Hi Karen

What a giggle, we live in New Zealand and don't have foxes but it was with a huge grin I read your story as if we ever get them I will know what to do. I always thought how lucky you are to see these creatures as we only get to see them in a zoo, but that would be really annoying! Good luck!

Craftyanny said...

lol your story sure has me chuckling away this morning. I hope your neighbours weren't peeping from am upstairs window:)
Anne x

Adele said...

LOL!!!! I am feeling quite poorly today Karen. Have a stinker of a headache and come over quite queasy...but you still bring a smile to my face!


kaz_za's crafty corner said...

omg that is just sooo funny... pee everywhere...lol but i dont blame you .. the foxes stuff stinks and takes ages to get the smell off your dog.. whom seem to think it the best smell going...!!!lol
next time you have prob.. just stick a tent in back garden and me and my 4 dogs will pop over for a couple of nights... no more foxes after that...lol

ittybittyinkspotstoo said...

OMGOSH this is to funny! Thank you for a great chuckle!!!!

Louly said...

Oh Karen this made me laugh out loud!I bet it was so funny when you sent him out for a pee in the garden, I'd have been inside wetting myself!

Anonymous said...

Rofl!! i am so sorry for laughing.. i'm not laughing at the poop or the foam or the shed.. boy i would be livid.. but the thought of the way that you have rectified the problem.. so funny.. glad that it seems to have worked.. hugs rachxxx

Nicole Bailey said...

okay we don't have any foxes here where I live in Canada but I must tell you reading your post made me lol....what a funny story.....:o)